The Feature of the Day
Yahoo’s feature of the day was the U-tube
Video that went viral about a cheerleader
Whose mistake could have been very costly
To her physical well-being. The video frame
Showed her just about to begin her cart-
Wheel. Oh, my, how did this end, he wondered
To himself. The promotional line to tempt the
Viewer into clicking the play arrow in the mid-
Dle of the photo was the tease about how bad it
Could have been, but wasn’t, except that it
Was bad enough. He felt like a Roman citizen
At the coliseum waiting to see the Christians
Torn apart by the wild animals and thinking
Maybe one would survive without one leg and
One arm and a skull half exposed to the bone
And still kill the beast forgetting the Christians
Were pacifists back then. And so the devil and
The angel sat on opposite sides of his shoulders.
“Aren’t you sick in the gut over the appeal to
Voyeurism splashed all over the gory media?”
Angel whispered in his left ear. Wasn’t she
Supposed to be on the right side, he wondered.
“Oh, you know you want to see the tumble, the
Crash, that which should have, for all practical
Purposes, crushed the cheerleader’s upper-
Most vertebrae rendering her immobile in her
Extremities for life, but from which she
Would get up and laugh it all off. You know
You want to flinch and reel back at the crash,”
The Devil whispered, seductively in his right
Ear. And so after a moment but not too long
He clicked the back button and not the play arrow
And it felt pretty good. It was a little victory, in
The battle of pretty significant Realms, but
Victory nevertheless. It was like the time in high
School when the really bright girl sitting next to him
In physics innocently (or maybe not) exposed her
Answer sheet and he didn’t look. Seventeen to sixty-
Seven and a few more times in between. He’s going to
Go to his fiftieth class reunion felling pretty good –
Pretty good, but he also knows that pride goes be-
Fore the fall and he imagines some old classmates
Would just love to see him doing a header and then
The splits, splayed out on the floor, writhing in pain
And then one hand on his head the other on his crotch
Screaming in agony while being carted off in a fetal position
On a gurney to the school nurse while everyone in the
Cafeteria roared. Then he thought that maybe he would just
skip the reunion.