We have a new dog

who stinks up a tune,

so I follow his trail

from room to room,

sniffing and coughing

and Febreezing the fume.

I dusted him all over

with soda for baking.

My wife, unknowing,

squirted him with vinegar

water she was making.

The dog foamed all over

before my startled eye.

We’re thankful he didn’t

rise up and just die.

So in the future when he

smells and I say, “Oh, phew,”

instead of a lethal cocktail

we’ll just use shampoo.