He’s a fine chap, really – salt of the earth. This guy gives you quality work for an honest price. In fact, while doing a plumbing job, he will stop occasionally to let you decide which part to choose. When asked which he would choose, he always says, “This one costs half as much and does just as good a job as this other one,” and because of things like that, I keep calling him to do work for me when needed. He is always there. He’s good as gold.

Same with my car mechanic. He’s been caring for my cars for twenty-seven years. One time when I was out of town, two thousand miles out of town, something went wrong with the car. The quote I got was exactly how far I was out of town – 2,000. I called my mechanic. He said don’t worry about the clanking noise just drive it home and I’ll take care of it.

Sure enough, two thousand miles later, he had to tighten a loose bolt, which, if it had fallen out anywhere along those two thousand miles, wouldn’t have hurt anything. I had to trust my mechanic. He’s good as gold.

My plumber and my auto mechanic live in the same town and belong to the same church. There’s one thing I won’t do with them – discuss religion. And I’m a preacher.

Once, I had a landscaper from the same town who went to a different church but same denomination. There are a lot of churches in this town. He wanted to know how, in the sweet name of Jesus, I could believe in universal salvation. I’m not even sure how he knew that.

“There is a literal heaven and there is a literal hell and unless you believe in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, the latter is exactly where you are going; the Bible says it; I believe it, and that settles it. How can you call yourself a Christian minister?”

I just shrugged and avoided the conversation as much as I could. After all, he was a good landscaper. He finished trimming my trees, got in his truck and left without saying goodbye. That was the last time I saw him. A week later I got an outrageously big bill.

See?

Now a landscaper is one thing, but a good plumber and auto mechanic? Priceless. I just might be willing to believe in a literal heaven and a literal hell to keep those guys. Next Sunday I think I’ll give an altar call.