I had a friend once by and by
whose name was Jonathan
McIntosh.
He was a roly-poly boy and
the apple of his mother’s eye.

I had a friend once by and by
whose name was Ida Red.
She was a bit or a tart and
always caught the boys’ eyes.

I had these friends once by and by.
Jonathan McIntosh married
Ida Red and all their children
were the apples of their parents’ eyes.

I had these friends once by and by.
Their boys were named
Red and the girls Ida.
The girls were tart and the boys
roly-poly but all lovely in
their parents’ eyes.

I had these friends who long ago moved away.
I get a card now and then and Ida, Jonathan
and all the kids are healthy and never sick
and swear that an apple a day
keeps the doctor away.