A self-professed nerdy, numbers
wonk, the Gov never ever in-
dicated he was interested in
anything but the bottom line

and now he wants to get to
the bottom of the scandal.
Scandal? He was only trying
to save dollars, millions and

millions of dollars in deeply
depressed communities
throughout the state that, in
his view, knew nothing about

bottom lines. Because the
hapless residents were at
the bottom of any measure-
able socio-economic line,

the Gov in his own inimitably
paternalistic style, which
some might say smacked of
racial overtones, in as much

as all the communities target-
ed for takeover by fiat were
vast majority minority, said
condescendingly that this is

all good medicine for you.
And then he just knew he would
save one community more money
than it had seen in eons and

he would be proclaimed the
Economic, Savior, Nerdy, Wonk
King. The poor unfortunate
souls hooked up to another

city’s water line. Oh, my,
what profligate, foolish children
they be, so simple and so in
need of the Gov’s bottom line

and all with bottled water free.
Except it all went wrong, so
very wrong, for months and
months wrong with lead poison-

ing babies’ brains and apparent-
ly, the Gov knew it but kept
to his bottom line which he
just knew would be proven

right and true because it
was just water under the
bridge or over the dam, so
to speak until finally, when

all the lead in the water hit
the proverbial fan, the Gov
took a courageous stand and
simply stood there and said

in his little, nerdy voice,
sorry, man. Sorry? Gov, that
simply won’t do. These are
human lives and shouldn’t be

a mere bottom line to you.