The big, ugly, white, evangelical,
Republican monster watched TV
and saw an interracial couple in

bed in a mattress commercial and
went ape; then an Asian woman
was in a commercial for another

mattress company and she was by
herself enjoying her regular size
mattress, but the aroused and

ashamed (never) monster thought her
movements to be way too provocative;
then, in a commercial on internet

service, a black guy answered the
door of his palatial mansion and,
of all horrible things but under-

standable, because these are the
end time signs of the end times,
he is not the butler. Enough,

enough, enough! The monster can’t
take it any longer and yells,
“A white, Republican, evangelical,

pedophile, really big monster is
my kind of monster to save us
from the invasion of human beings.”