You Need to Help the Humans

You Need to Help the Humans

The animal purists say don’t anthropomorphize,

And I say I’m not dressing him up to tap dance or go on point and do a pirouette.  There’s no tutu for this big Chocolate Lab.

I’m only trying to translate “Rahr, rahr, rahr…rahry, rahr, rahr.”

The authorities tell me to get into the dog’s world, mind, become a dog.

I never learned “Rahr, rahr, rahr” talk.

I’m trying to understand.  “Speak to me, Oh Descendant of the Great White/Brown/Black Wolf.”

He tilts his head; I hear a “Hum?”

Looking at me quizzically, he speaks as if he is the Oracle of Delphi: “Rahr, rahr, rahr.”

“Oh, great, Oh, Great One. What the hell does that mean?

Let’s try this.

“Show me, Boomer.  Show me.  Come on, boy. Show me. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?”  Three times a charm.

“Rahr, rahr, rahr.”  He heads to his food bowl.  Stands and points his majestic, long and straight snout toward the empty bowl.

Damn. I don’t get “Rahr, rahr, rahr,” but he gets English.

Did someone tell him he needed to help the humans

And learn their language?

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