My local grocery pushed really hard for the green card,

Because it was something that would save us shoppers

A whole lot of moolah they said.

 

So always a fan of saving a whole lot of moolah, I got

The green card, the one that I don’t need to work in the

US of A but to save on groceries.

 

After I got the green card, I went to my local grocery

To buy a bottle of wine and I saw a 1.5 liter of pinot grigio

At the regularly discounted price.

 

Eagerly, I made for the check out to get my benefits and a whole lot of moolah and the

Cashier asked me if I had my green card.  It was on my key chain on the key

That was still in the ignition. Being in a magnanimous mood

 

I said, “Don’t worry. It’s only one item and I won’t worry

About the points for just one item.”  The register registered

The retail price and I asked, “Say what?”

 

And she said that I need the green card for the discount

And I said that I never needed the green card before

To get the discount, so I said sarcastically

 

That I got the green card to save money and get points

For really good things that I never, ever would have thought

Of if it hadn’t been for the great green card,

 

But now I understand that I need the green card that I never ever

Needed before to get the regularly discounted items

And save me a lot of moolah.

 

She asked me for my phone number, because that works just as well, so

I gave her my phone number but it didn’t register.  I went to the car

And got the green card for the discount I always just got before.

 

The manager looked into it and found that the green card in my name

Had my wife’s phone number on it, so in the future I would have to use it, and

The cashier smiled and said, “Oh, by the way, there are no points for booze.”

 

And I said, “But I get the discount I would have gotten before without the damn green

Card.”  She nodded, smiled, told me to have a good day and not forget my green card

Next time unless I could remember my wife’s cell phone number.