My local grocery pushed really hard for the green card,
Because it was something that would save us shoppers
A whole lot of moolah they said.
So always a fan of saving a whole lot of moolah, I got
The green card, the one that I don’t need to work in the
US of A but to save on groceries.
After I got the green card, I went to my local grocery
To buy a bottle of wine and I saw a 1.5 liter of pinot grigio
At the regularly discounted price.
Eagerly, I made for the check out to get my benefits and a whole lot of moolah and the
Cashier asked me if I had my green card. It was on my key chain on the key
That was still in the ignition. Being in a magnanimous mood
I said, “Don’t worry. It’s only one item and I won’t worry
About the points for just one item.” The register registered
The retail price and I asked, “Say what?”
And she said that I need the green card for the discount
And I said that I never needed the green card before
To get the discount, so I said sarcastically
That I got the green card to save money and get points
For really good things that I never, ever would have thought
Of if it hadn’t been for the great green card,
But now I understand that I need the green card that I never ever
Needed before to get the regularly discounted items
And save me a lot of moolah.
She asked me for my phone number, because that works just as well, so
I gave her my phone number but it didn’t register. I went to the car
And got the green card for the discount I always just got before.
The manager looked into it and found that the green card in my name
Had my wife’s phone number on it, so in the future I would have to use it, and
The cashier smiled and said, “Oh, by the way, there are no points for booze.”
And I said, “But I get the discount I would have gotten before without the damn green
Card.” She nodded, smiled, told me to have a good day and not forget my green card
Next time unless I could remember my wife’s cell phone number.