There were three tables at the outdoor coffee
café in a quaint, inland seaside town.
At one sat a solitary figure reading
a New York Times and glancing
periodically in irritation at the middle table and
all the commotion coming from it and flying
just above it. Several sat crowded around
while Richard Wagner hovered, flying just
over their heads, baton in hand, arms flailing
at the wind, his big hair whipping left
and right with each swing of the arms,
spittle falling from the froth around his
mouth, hitting the ground and just missing
an old Chocolate Lab who lie panting
next to the table. Above Wagner, flew
the Valkyries in a frenzy trying to
keep up with the baton. Swords swung madly
back and forth clashing with sparks flying
and falling on the heads of those who
sat beneath. Their singing formed a funnel
cloud that moved up and down almost touching those
at the table among them Friedrich Nietzsche
who shouted something into Niccolò
Machiavelli’s ear and the two of them
laughed heartily, but no one else could get in
on the joke because of the storm clouds,
thunder and lightning above. At the
third table sat a real Aryan who looked
a lot like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and directly
across from him Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu.
They sipped their espresso and watched
each other very, very closely,
never taking their eyes off of one another not
even to notice what a nice late summer’s
day it was or even the ominous
tornado funnel hovering directly
over the middle table. Just under Wagner,
the Valkyries and the tornado tunnel
of operatic voices, sat an old, nearly
bald, white-haired, jowly white man
with hang-dog eyes, droopier than those of the
lab who sat near him. He wore a short-sleeved
shirt, baggy shorts and flip-flops which
revealed two bulbous bunions. He had
wobbly, knobby titanium knees with big scars and
spindly, varicose legs and arms with skin hanging
loosely down to his wrists. With one shaky
hand he fidgeted with his to-go cup of
coffee and with the other he checked his I-phone
for incoming calls or texts. A pouty, protruding
ball of a belly was the last sign of a left-
behind, corpulently indulgent life.
He felt the vibration in his hand, looked at the
phone, flipped the top, held it to his ear and
Thus Spake Zarathustra, “Yeah?” As he
spoke, a hint of last night’s vodka dinner
drifted up to a frowning Wagner. The Valkyries roared
with laughter, the lightning struck, the sparks flew.
The Chocolate Lab scurried under the
table and everyone ducked for cover
including the old, white guy.