At a Coffee Shop

 

At a coffee shop, a man and his wife met with

their financial advisor and the advisor, before crunch-

ing the numbers, kept making comments about out-of-

body, post-mortem experiences he had read about

recently in a book by a woman of science, of course

lending more credibility to the testimony, who had

been there, saw and heard Jesus calling to her but

had come back to life to write a book about it.

 

As the advisor spoke, the man remained in his

seat but his body rose above the coffee table, floated

near the ceiling, saw himself greatly expanded in the

reflections off bald heads like those mirrors at carn-

ivals, eyed many bald spots, black roots and white

roots beneath bushy, festive fall foliage.

 

It was three-fifteen and the students from a local

college checked their IPads, IPods, IPhones and Mac

Book Pros while the seniors checked each other’s turkey

throats. He thought about the late Nora Ephron’s cute

comments about how at a certain point in her life she

took to wearing turtlenecks full-time.

 

The man floated out of the shop, winced in the

bright, fall light, inhaled the fresh, crisp air and wondered

at the glorious colors of the maples, poplars, willows

swaying in the wind, sumac but not the dominating oaks.

Some were rich brown but most were dull and reminded

him of death.

 

The man thought he should get back to the

conversation so he floated in and down to his seat just

in time to hear the advisor say that he thought their

financial house was in order. The advisor smiled, the

wife smiled and the man smiled and was comforted in

knowing that when he died, his wife would be reasonably

well off.

 

 

The advisor went back to talking about the beyond

death experiences and the man hovered near the ceiling of

what had been their bedroom and watch his wife and

her third husband make love.  The man thought he

recognized the bald spot.  In his new celestial situation, the man

simply smiled beautifically, genuflected before skyrocketing

through the roof, got up from the table, looked at his

smiling wife and shook the outstretched hand of the

smiling financial advisor.