I went to visit Dr. Redy

today because my annual

visit was just ready.

I entered the office late

but they weren’t ready

for me to see Dr. Redy.

So I sat and watched a

waiting room that was

completely empty.

The staff worked away

on computers to handle

the patients when ready,

but no one seemed this day

to be ready, so I sat and

tried to stay steady,

to keep my blood pressure

low and my breathing really

calm and very steady,

to be really, really ready

to be examined thoroughly

by Dr. Redy.

Finally a nurse in full

pregnant bloom asked

if I were ready.

I said no I was the patient

and not to be confused

with the esteemed Dr. Redy.

Not amused, she stood her ground

and said, “Stand down and remain

very steady.”

I asked if she were Redy and she said

she was but she didn’t look

much like Dr. Redy,

except she looked ready to drop

the baby but hopefully

not on its heady.

She said for that she had two

more months but that she

was really ready.

Finally, the Dr. named Redy

really was ready. I asked him

if he were really ready

or if I should wait for someone

named Fast Eddie Redy.  He said

his name was Freddie not Eddie.

Then steady Freddie Redy moved through

the exam with form ready

and steady.

I told him I had been hoping

for Fast Eddie but was glad

to have now-ready steady

Freddie Redy.

I asked him if he had children

and he looked at me and

said, “Nadayettee.”

I said, “Well, Doc, you

ain’t get’n younger so you

better getta ready.

He said he had a girl

who was Nadayettee.

“Not a yettee what?” I asked

Dr. Freddie Redy.

“Nadayettee

Redy.”

“Not a yettee ready for what?”

“Nadayettee Redy is who she is.”

“What isn’t she ready for?”

“Well, she’s only thirteen,

my Nadayettee Redy.”

Who’s on first and What’s

on second? I sure wasn’t steady.

I thought of Abbott and Costello,

and Laurel and Hardy.

Oh, I was feeling really

not ready for

steady Dr. Freddie Redy.

He told me I passed

the physical and to stop

being so very petty

and to turn on my heels and

quick step to the desk

of the secretary,

who, to take my money

for the exam, was

surely ready.

I told him I once dated

a really cute girl

named Shirley Redy

and that she surely was

ready unlike his little

Nadayettee.

He  just collapsed in

the chair to stay steady.

I gave him a wave and said,

“See you next year, Steady

Freddie,

and when I arrive, I hope

you really will be really fast

and ready, steady Dr. Freddie

Redy.”