He was a very sympathetic guy.

He gained ten pounds during his

wife’s first pregnancy and a very

sore stomach from grunting

along with her in labor.

 

He gained about the same amount

with kid number two but no sore

stomach because he wasn’t allowed

in.  It wasn’t a progressive state to

which they had moved between kids.

 

He lost the sympathy weight gain and

the sore stomach went away within

days. Then years and years and years

later he learned of the death of his

old girlfriend.

She had had cancer the symptoms

of which are moonface, humpback,

a fat trunk, skinny arms and legs and

bruising, lots of bruising.  He felt so

bad for her; she had been so pretty.

 

Then he went to his reunion and

everyone wondered what the

heck had happened to him –

moonface, humpback, a fat trunk,

skinny arms and legs and bruising.

 

On my God, he thought – the

Big C. Then he thought about

ten pounds and a sore stomach

and just knew he was suffering

sympathy symptoms.  Would

the symptoms ever go away?

He was just such a sympathetic

guy.

 

Then his physician said, “Knock

off the booze, buddy,” and three

weeks later he was his old self

no weight gain, no sore stomach

and none of the other stuff either.

 

He was never ever so glad as

right then for his now former

best buddy Jim Beam, for whom

he no longer had any sympathy

when he left Old Jim in the

Great Commonwealth…

But being the sympathetic guy

that he was he was sure there

were those in Poland or Russia

or Sweden who could use his

sympathy. He had so much

to give.