I Love the 5th Dimension, Really

“What? Am I just senile? I just don’t
remember the utter rudeness on the
roads putting up with speeding cars
rushing past with blonds in big SUV’s
talking on the phone or texting. One
woman in a van flew down the street
cut me off almost sideswiping the car
and blew into the health food store.
I followed because that was where
I was going and said, ‘Hey Soccer
Mom, in your hurry to get to the
store and organic vegetables you al-
most killed me.’ She ignored me and
continued shopping seemingly in no
big hurry, and in stores — especially
ordinary grocery stores where people
wielding grocery carts fly by, cutt-
ing off other people, don’t say ex-
cuse me and have this attitude of
It’s my cart, it’s my store and you I
will just ignore
. Maybe I’m wrong;
maybe it has been just the same since
Adam pointed at Eve and Eve pointed
at the snake and Cain slew Abel over
an offering of cake, but I don’t think
so; at least, that’s my story and I’m
sticking to it for now. Now, shall we
discuss Isis, Al Qaeda, terrorists,
Michael Myers of Halloween I, II,
III, IV, the Texas Chain Saw Mass-
acres, the boogeyman, Donald Trump
(speaking of rude) and Ben Carson
(speaking of weird with that soft,
whispery voice and eyes closed most
of the time and an attempted knifing
and attack on his mom with a hammer
before finding God and successfully
separating Siamese twins using a
knife presumably sharper than the one
he attempted on the kid) and I can’t
stand one more newscast on the attack
in France that killed approximately
125, so maybe we should talk about the
630 deaths on US highways this past
week and every week of the year and
deal with the fact that Americans are
building personal arsenals to protect
them from everything that scares them,
which is just about everything and they
will only succeed in shooting them-
selves in the foot or killing the kid
next door and stop the world, I want
to get off? Maybe I’ll write a poem
about peace, love and the dawning
of the Age of Aquarius or maybe I’ll
just listen to an old 5th Dimension
album, and obsess and coo over
Marilyn McCoo.”


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