His One Time Only Magnum Tweet for His Blog Because He Doesn’t Do Twitter

First thing, if he gets up
first, is to take the dog out,
fix a pot of gourmet coffee
from freshly ground free-trade
beans roasted at a local store,
clean up the previous evening’s
dishes, go online, sip coffee,
read two meditations and three
poems. He will trash all the
advertisements and check for
personal notes from friends,
making a note to respond. He
might get an idea for a poem
and if so, he will click on
a word document, type (like
what he is in the process of
doing right now), select all,
copy and paste to his blog; if
not, he will check the news,
which he has told himself
he is going to do less often
because just reading the head-
lines does nothing good for
his morning mood and works
against the good news of the
meditations. Mostly, he just
says, “Yadda, yadda, yadda.”
He knows that the great theo-
logian Karl Barth said that a
person should read the Bible
in one hand and the newspaper
in the other, which he thinks
means view the world through
the lens of God’s love, make
appropriate application and
take appropriate action, but
the news has become such super-
ficial entertainment and just
another moneymaking machine
for corporate America at the
expense of the more and more
dummied down, exploited, and
polarized public except, of
course, for what he gets on-
line of the New York Times for
free and then he flosses, brushes
his teeth, takes his meds and
supplements, gargles so his
breath will be fresh to kiss
his wife, gets another cup of
coffee and pets the Chocolate
Lab, who sleeps at his feet
and upon whom he and his wife
have recently spent two thou-
sand dollars trying to figure
out what to do about the poor
boy’s elbow dysplasia and sub-
sequent massive arthritis. They
have settled on a lubricating
shot in the elbow every few
months and three heavy-duty
narcotic pills daily, which
would kill a human in no
time but supposedly are fine
for the dog because dogs meta-
bolize opiates differently
than humans.

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