Thankful for Things, Which Took a Long Time to Be Invented

The man is in a thankful mood this morning. He just looks around and observes what he does when he first gets out of bed.

One of the things for which the man is not thankful is the dog because the dog beckons to him to get up and take him out so the dog can do his business.

The man does and he watches the dog pee on a fallen palm frond, pee running off into the ground.

The man is off to the dumpster, dog in tow to drop off a bag of items to be recycled. On the way, the dog stops, tugs on the leash, crouches on his haunches and takes a dump on the grass on the edge of the drive way circling a fountain which greets drivers as they enter the condo association.

A car passes as the man bends over to pick up the poop in a poop bag which he then will deposit in the dumpster designated for garbage.

And so, the man thinks about things for which he is thankful as he thinks about peeing and pooping and scooping in the great out-of-doors.

He puts himself in the dog’s place except that he can let himself out. He thinks about leaving the condo by himself and peeing on the palm frond and watching it run off into the grass, of pooping on the lawn next to the driveway, of a car passing as he is crouched on his haunches and of him waving at the driver, of wiping himself and of picking up his poop and putting the toilet paper in the poop bag with his poop, all to be tossed in the dumpster.

And so this morning, he is thankful for simple things that he takes for granted several times a day. He is thankful for Sir John Harington who got the whole toilet and waste removal thing going during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I and John Crapper who kept it moving a couple hundred years later.

He is thankful for modern plumbing, sewage disposal and water treatment plants and soap — of course, soap, one of the greatest discoveries in medical history and last but not least — bathroom doors.

And when he is in the great out-of-doors on a backpacking trip the man is thankful for trowels and biodegradable toilet paper and trees behind which to crouch with only his faithful dog to watch him as turn around is only fair play in some cases.

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