At my seminary we were too low church
to know the difference
between a stole and a chasuble.
We were more chancel casual —
a shirt, a tie, a suit, a dress;
an academic robe in the
pulpit was meant to impress
the congregants with our
acumen theological
and hide that we really
just sounded confused
and comical.
I thought a pericope
was up periscope
and confused soteriology
with scatology.
Maybe that’s why
they sent me to counseling
and a mandatory internship year
so when eventually I was
unleashed on the church
the denomination wouldn’t
have so much to fear
and the profs could cheer
that I had graduated
and was finally out
of their hair and out
on my ear.
I seem to remember
one prof hoisting a
beer*
and shouting, “Let’s
all cheer.
That guy is
out of here.”

*It would have been a soft drink.
They were too conservative back
then to drink alcohol in public.