He Just Decided to Implode

Somewhere around fifteen years ago
his friend just decided to implode,
remove himself from complicated

relationships, almost barricade him-
self in his apartment, care for his
cats and find false intimacy in social

media. He continued to smoke like a
chimney and eat donuts and pork rinds
like they were going out of style. A

great mind, a great heart, a great guy —
broken by life. Yes, he was broken by
life; life really is too tough for some

gentle spirits who might posture big
and actually get big in size and weight
but who remain vulnerable little boys.

Some go fast, step in front of a train,
slit their wrists, gobble a bunch of
pills; put their heads through a noose;

some go slow, drink gallons of booze,
eat and smoke themselves to death
while under the illusion that they have

thousands and thousands of friends
and lovers when they could have had
the actual love of a couple of kids

and a couple of friends in the flesh
and actually did, but for some reason,
that just wasn’t enough. For some that’s

not enough. He thought about his dead
friend and he then he thought about
fifty-four years ago and how as a kid

he cried, “Why wasn’t my love enough,
dad?” Yes, some people are just too
gentle for life.


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