He Opened The Copy

He opened the copy of his 1958 grade
school graduation bulletin sent to him
by the school district archivist at his

request because it listed the names of
all his teachers and he was looking
for the first name of one of them.

He had spoken with the archivist on
the phone and she said, “We have a
copy of all your academic records.

Want to see them?” “Holy Cow, no!”
he exclaimed. Yikes, he had thought.
The good, the bad, and the ugly will

never go away; it will follow you
every single day. Kafka, Camus
and Sartre came to mind. He had

shuddered then in horror at the
thought. He shuddered again. He
opened the bulletin and saw that

he had been the class treasurer.
He had also been the treasurer of
his senior class in high school.

Like a bad penny, he always kept
turning up as the treasurer and the
books never balanced until his wife

took over the job. Thank goodness,
he thought, I couldn’t sign checks
in grade school or like a grade school

classmate, I might have ended up in
Joliet State prison. At breakfast, as
he picked up his fork, his wife said,

“Never trust a left-handed accountant.”

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