I Came Across the Word

I came across the word flocculent
and it seemed so heavy, full,

bloated, gaseous, but that perhaps
is a different word, one which

sounds like flocculent but falls flat
as in flatulent. I heard a seminarian

make a joke while trying to clear
his dorm room of friends by shout-

ing, “Get the flock out,” and then
proceeded to indulge the flatulence

he was experiencing from the beer
he consumed earlier. That line was

pretty funny for a seminarian, but
would fall more than flocculently

flat upon a real flock; sorry, speak-
ing metaphorically of a congregation,

which actually, by and large, is made
up of a bunch of sheepish creatures,

so maybe that’s a realistic way to
refer to a bunch of people making up

the membership of a congregation.
Anyway, it means “resembling wool

especially in loose fluffy organ-
ization; containing, consisting of,

or occurring in the form of loosely
aggregated particles or soft flakes.”

My point being, saying “Get the flock
out,” from the pulpit would elicit

a flocculent flurry flying around
the fold and might get the non-

plussed pastor run out on a rail
and then down a slippery slope

without much hope.

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