Years and years after he died,
she told me that he had an
affair with his secretary. It
was oh, so banal, predictable —
boss, secretary. Yet. Did she
mean to tarnish his image for
me? Was she just being mean?
Maybe she just wanted to get
the burden of it off her heart
by telling someone, anyone, me.
She carried that for so long.
Maybe it was long enough ago
that she thought I could deal
with it in a way, perhaps, I
couldn’t have earlier…. He
was my father. So many things
about him I would never under-
stand. That one got me, though.
I never would have guessed.
An affair? Seriously. My dad?
Oh, dad. Disappointed? Sure.
A chink in the armor? Sort of.
Not so much. It’s all so com-
plicated. It was all so long
ago.