Life In the Golden Mean Just Don’t Go In the Water

California is about to break off from
the rest of the
contiguous forty-eight states
or it will dry up from lack of potable water
just like Arizona will
unless someone finds an economical way to
desalinate sea water
which is why we live very, very close to a
huge, freshwater body called
an inland sea,
and beyond that, back down a dune
away from the water
so if the water rises we won’t be flooded
and so, we live in the middle of the
country far away from the coasts which
will eventually be flooded
and we are really secure here and
very happy
except that the seasons are really crazy
what with global warming
because our winter, which was not particularly
strong or snowy,
just goes on and on and on
and it is 34 degrees on the 76th of January,
as put by a friend,
otherwise known as
April 17 and everyone is looking forward
to the weekend
when it is supposed to
be 60 degrees, seriously 60 degrees,
at which time we will
celebrate the fact
that we have discovered Aristotle’s
Golden Mean
along with a couple of
decent places to go for Happy Hour,
one right along an inland lake with
beautiful, wrap around views
not counting all the fertilizer running
into the lake from
farms and the residue of chemicals
in the soil at the bottom of the lake
from all the factories
which used to dump
into the water hoping God wouldn’t
see and it would be washed out
into the inland sea and get diluted
sufficiently that no one would
ever notice or care
except when swimming in
a triathlon and coming down
with some kind of horrible illness
involving phosphorescent stuff
stuck to the
body and pus-filled eyes
and mucous membranes swollen
with yucky, crusty, green stuff.

Other than that, it is really good

and we are really, really fortunate

to live in Aristotle’s Golden Mean

or maybe it’s some growing, slithering,

mean, green thing — Leviathan.

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