for every action, there is an equal and
opposite reaction could have been the
sign over the door of his high school
physics class. perhaps it should be a
sign over every door like the command-
ments of the lord or blood splatter on
every door so the angel of death would
pass by. wouldn’t you think, he wonders,
the profane and despicable coming out
of the white house would evoke a reaction
that would be the opposite like a festival
of the sacred, of courtesy, kindness, en-
couragement, ennobling, even people be-
ing nice to each other on the roadways?
but no, he just sits staring at the tv watch-
ing a (p)-resident rally swearing up such
a storm that the chocolate lab moves away
in an equal and opposite reaction, thus
reasserting the truth of newton’s third
law of motion. the man concedes that
once again he is trumped by the dog.
then he hears the ghost of his physics
teacher, “opposite is direction not
value. unfortunately, your rant
got it right. you became an english
major didn’t you? figures.”