May 5, 2018

In celebration of the bi-
centennial of the birth of
Karl Marx, the man would pen

a note to the board of the
beach association stating
that the rules and regulations

for beach use are petty and
bourgeois and reflect a board
made up of the petite bour-

geoisie and the oppressor
rich and therefore, the pro-
letariat in the beach assoc-

iation should rise up in Marxist
revolt, but his wife reminded
the man that he is middle-class

and retired on a fixed income
so he is the very definition
of the petite bourgeoisie. With

that the man decided to go to
the beach alone as a true believer
and drink a PBR to Marx and

to Cinco de Mayo when the
Mexican army defeated the in-
vading French in 1862, an event

hardly celebrated at all in
Mexico but a wildly popular day
in America for reasons almost

completely unknown to most
Americans and it is now a fact
that it is the day the most

beer is consumed in celebration
of an event about which almost
nothing is known and hardly

anyone cares except the petite
has an excuse
to drink lots of beer without

the due appreciation of Mexico’s
victory, and so the man hoisted
his bottle to the rise of the

proletariat and the victory of
the Mexican army when behind
the man a voice was heard

to say with the scariness of
the Gestapo, “No glass bottles
are allowed on the beach.”

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