Happy Fourth of July

So, it’s the Fourth of
July and I’m upset about
who the devil is our
president and it’s hot
as hell in the upper
midwest (85 in the shade),
day after day and this
spring we were so deluged
with rain storms that I
thought about buying a lot
of lumber and getting boat
designs and now we have
put in seven really tall
Norway Spruces and, of course,
it turns into the Sahara Desert
and our water bill will
skyrocket (not to mention
all the water being used)
and all our friends are e-
mailing about the dangers
of global warming and
I put together the new,
small, infrared grill
and we don’t even know
what infrared is and we
worry that we bought some-
thing that will add to
global warming and my wife
hands me a vodka and we
sit thinking that we will
have to find a way to shield
our new, adopted, six-year-
old Chocolate Lab’s ears
(I go to hunt for earmuffs)
from the fireworks that will
start any minute with debris
falling into the Big Lake causing
more water pollution and all
I can think to say is “oy veh,”
and I’m not even Jewish.

One thought on “Happy Fourth of July

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