The Dog’s Morning Bathroom Break

The Chocolate Lab is up at 7:30
even though we would
like her to sleep an additional thirty.
My wife and I take turns
taking out the Lab that early.
Out of bed we rise,
a little less than sturdy,
while our Lab waves
her tail so curly.
She kisses us
and prances to the door.
What we wouldn’t give
for thirty minutes more.
It’s winter and cold
and the ground is icy
and walking her
while she is leashed
is a bit dicey.
We shout and squeal
(as she tugs and pulls)
for her to heel
as we slide into the
yard, calling,
“Go tinkle and poop, girl,”
unaware that she
has her eyes on a squirrel.
She charges the rodent
and we have less than a moment
to get control.
A short attention span,
she has forgotten to tinkle and poop
and has dashed the
morning, bathroom break plan.
We slide back to the house
hoping she doesn’t see a mouse.
Safe inside, the girl runs upstairs
seemingly without any cares.
She waits impatiently
for her breakfast and a Vitamin E,
and some fish oil
to keep her coat so beautiful and shiny.
The dish empty, she hops up with flair
into the big, stuffed chair
for her morning beauty sleep.
The coffee’s put on
last night’s dishes are done,
into the bathroom we creep.
While the girl begins to snore,
we floss and brush with tooth paste,
staring in the mirror at a scary, morning face,
and wishing for just thirty minutes more.

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