When he applied to the
ethnic college and then
finally got there after a
community college

detour of two years,
he realized he wasn’t
part of the clan. He didn’t
have the right last name

and he didn’t grow up
in the same circles and
so basically he was an
outsider. He graduated

from that school and
went to the sister school
across the street and
realized he was even

less a part of that com-
munity which was even
more ethnically ex-
elusive. He tried and

tried to be a part of
that group and found
that it just wasn’t
working. He thinks

it is because that
community’s ethos
is “niceness,” regard-
less of how much

they might talk of
social justice. They
just don’t want to
offend anyone and

that certainly isn’t
his moniker, and so
now, as a senior
citizen sitting among

that ethnicity, he says,
“Tough toenails, I am
what and who I am.” (It
it wasn’t toenails he said,

but he wrote that because
he wanted to be ethnically
nice). Some habits are
really hard to break

or is it a lingering
desire to be accepted?
“Oh, Lord,” he says,
“I certainly hope not.”