Perception, Anticipation and Waking in a Sweat While America Entertains Fascism

Remember I pointed out the small woodpecker?
I heard the tap, tap, tap that morning as I sat at
the desk. Then as we were backing out of the
driveway, we saw the perfectly round holes in
the cedar porch. (I had heard that woodpeckers
don’t like cedar, but we know that’s not true
because previously we had to fill the holes made
by woodpeckers with wood filler and put up the
reflective strips that flutter in the wind as a
deterrent.) Well, this morning around six I woke
in a sweaty state wondering how we were going to
get rid of the woodpecker and save the porch again.
I thought about swatting it away with a flyswatter
or a broom. I thought about trying to find dark-
colored wood filler to fill the holes so we wouldn’t
have to stain the wood filler like last time and have
the stain drip down on the cedar making a dark
mess I couldn’t remove and I thought about putting
up more of those reflective strips that flutter in
the breeze. I thought about how I would have to get
the tall ladder out to reach the highest places and
how I would need you to hold the ladder or maybe I
would hold the ladder for you because you are more
agile than I am. It bothered me so much, I just got
out of bed. I didn’t want to wake you with my toss-
ing and turning and moaning and groaning. Then
later, after the rain had stopped, I looked at all the
places we thought were holes and they were just
natural dark spots on the cedar.

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