Poems and Puns #8 Twinsies

From two pews back I, a visitor,
watched the two identical toupees
right next to each other. We had
gathered for Sunday worship in

the inclusive, open and affirming
congregation. Right then and there
I decided I would look for those
two toupees during coffee hour

after worship hoping they would
be there. I found them; I went
around to catch a view from the
front and saw two elderly male

faces under identical toupees.
I just had to talk with them. They
were a couple for forty years and
just two years ago were married

in this church. They owned a floral
shop and were beyond  retirement
age but weren’t sure what to do.
They loved the shop but knew they

couldn’t keep it up for much longer.
With no children and few relatives,
they wondered what to do with any
proceeds from the sale after they

put away enough to assure their per-
sonal solvency. I said, “Well, there
comes a time to find new adventures
or dig into that bucket list. You don’t

know what tomorrow might bring.
If you wait too long, everything could
go bust.” To help them consider this I
told them this pun: A group of friars

was behind on their belfry payments,
so they opened up a small florist shop
to raise funds. Since everyone liked to
buy flowers from the men of God, a rival

florist across town thought the competition
was unfair. He asked the good fathers to
close down, but they would not. He went
back and begged the friars to close. They

ignored him. So, the rival florist hired
Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most
vicious thug in town to persuade’ them to
close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed

their store, saying he’d be back if they
didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did
so, thereby proving that only Hugh can
prevent florist friars. Fast forward four

years — the guys sold the floral shop,
made a significant contribution to their
beloved congregation, traveled as they
pleased and then died within a week of

each other. They had a joint funeral
at the church and everyone said they
looked so very handsome in their
twinsie toups.

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