A Clueless, White Guy

A clueless, white guy was feeling particularly sorry for himself.
He was pretty good at math in school and
here are his resented, protested equals:
I’m white = (I guess that makes me a) racist;
I’m a fiscal conservative = (I guess that makes me a) fascist;
I did it all myself = (I guess that makes me) privileged;
I’m heterosexual = (I guess that makes me a) homophobe;
I’m not Muslim = (I guess that makes me an) infidel;
I believe in the 2nd. Amendment = (I guess that makes me a) NRA stooge;
I doubt the mainstream media = (I guess that makes me a) rightwing conspiracy nut;
I’m proud of my heritage = (I guess that makes me a) xenophobe;
I believe in merit-based results = (I guess that makes me an) anti-socialist;
I believe in national defense = (I guess that makes me a) militant;
I’m proud of the flag and I stand = (I guess that makes me a) racist.
Actually, his math isn’t too bad for a clueless, white guy.

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