Oh my, he’s so embarrassed

To be an old, white man

Losing it in the new

Rainbow land

Like those hanging by their

Thumbs

With the old clan

And the General

Men’s womanizing plan,

The ones who eat cake,

Have it too and

And toss crumbs

To the forty-seven

Percenters too, who

They see as obstructing

The grand plan

To secede from the une-yan

And

Take along all the great alums

Who live right, act right,

Lean way right, are all white,

Stand and fight right

And take a grand stand

Against the gift givers and takers,

Free loaders, the Now Two-term,

Grand Poobah

Man –

The brown, black,

Yellow, rainbow coalition of

Gays and straights and oh, yeah,

The long-suffering Cub fan –

For sure those

Bleacher Bums with the

Red-blistered, white skin

And some

With a deep tan –

The long-suffering

Fan,

The Cubs and Sox

And all the jocks

who are all thumbs;

South-side and North-side

Young guys, of course,

And just think about it;

They are ones who don’t work,

Just sit all day waitin’ with

A mitt to catch a foul ball

Or home run, man,

“Mitt, my man, they called

You the flim-flam man,

But you be da man, my man,

so

just get a grip

Mitt, man, and help me

Find a way to

Just go away,

Old white man,

Please. They say

I have become

An embarrass-

Ment, to those in the grand

Stand,” he cries,

“Mitt Man, old, white

Man. I’m still

Tryin’ to get a grip here,

Man

Oh, man, so

Take me out to the

Ball game, Mitt man,

And let me sing along

With the Harry Carey clan;

Just don’t put me next

To the Church

Lady; she has a

Bat in one

Hand and mitt

On the other hand

And she’s an angry

Long-suffering Cub’s

Fan.  I hoped for

So much more,

Man.”