Already established communities

are hard to enter and harder of

which to become a part (ask any

in-law who feels more like an

outlaw), especially family size

churches whose members have

known each other seemingly for

eons and who have things in

common sometimes without that

even being blood – sometimes

like gravitating naturally toward

the external, majestic male

member instead of the female

counterpart and all the wonders

of that deep, dark wonderfully

mysterious place and being a

type A personality and a straight,

elderly white guy, who has spent

a lifetime spelunking for love, he

felt that the open and affirming,

everyone is welcome safe place

wasn’t going to be his place as he

saw the looks of suspicion on the

family members’ faces week after

week after week as he sought his

place in the back pew, because

whether he liked it or not and

even if it wasn’t true, in his case,

he has been, is and will be for some

time to come the enemy and even

though Jesus broke down the

dividing wall of hostility, fear is often

impervious to a self-sacrificial wrecking

ball when all you have known are the

wrecking balls of hostility, and so

whether he wants to accept it or not,

turn around is fair play even on a play-

ing field that has been leveled by love

and while he accepts the reality that

he is not in the club, he looks forward

to the kairos time of the community

that transcends clubs which may

mean more chronos time than he

has left, and, perhaps, that’s why

such a thing as hope exists.