In the Cornfields

A row in the ubiquitous cornfields

of central Illinois, fogged up wind-

ows and the first feel of a female,


he went home to his second year of

junior college and she went on to a

Harvard graduate student in physics


before her future husband, a grad.

student who would get a Ph.D. in

business and snag a prized position


at an Ivy League business school.

Then pituitary cancer turned

her into the female version of


the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Her Ivy League husband dumped

her for a cute co-ed. The man’s


old girlfriend moved to a South-

west city, got up one morning and

fell over dead. Imagining her


charmed life and not knowing any-

thing but just looking forward to see-

ing her at the only reunion he ever


considered attending, he looked up

her name on the internet and got the

obituary. He found her sister, called


and found out the obituary was right.

He remembered being mesmerized

by her putting on her panties before


he hurriedly drove down the line

looking for a way out of the cornfield

and finally onto the road to campus.

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