He has a ballpoint pen attached
to a feather. It’s not like the
real feathered pens that you have
to dip in ink. Those get messy
and are scratchy on vellum parch-
ment. This is like the modern
technology of feathered pens,
when in reality it’s just a
fake, but he enjoys thinking
he is Benjamin Franklin writing
the Poor Man’s Almanac or
Thomas Jefferson penning the
Declaration of Independence
or John Hancock putting his
John Hancock on that Dec-
laration. Sometimes he
tickles his nose with the
feather imagining that his
secret lover is playing coy
or when there aren’t any
birds flying by outside, he
flutters the pen back and forth
in front of him and makes a
poor attempt at a cardinal’s
love call. On occasion the
feathered pen is a Pterodactyl
carrying him back in time or
a Peacock feathered rocket ship
ushering him into a new front-
ier. He is Walter Mitty with
a fake, feathered ballpoint pen
in hand.