He’s So Proud

He’s so proud.
He has worn the same
waist size for thirty-five years.
He would love to hoist one
with great cheer for all those years
but a beer gut would make
that waist size disappear.
But he does acknowledge in silent gratitude
to the pants makers
for their sly, marketing attitude.
They know the male ego
so they invented the “relaxed fit,”
so he could keep his expanding
tummy tucked into the thirty-five year fit,
and brag that he has kept
the same waist size all those years,
but even then, to be honest,
he has to suck it in a bit
just to close the top button
in the size 36 pants with the “relaxed fit.”

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