There was an old guy from E’town
who thought he was quite the clown.
Around town, he blew a big horn
which brought him much scorn
from the town’s mayor right on down.
There was a madam from Riverdale,
who could tell quite a tale.
She kept a book
on every crook,
so she wouldn’t land in jail.
There were two fellows from rapids named Grand
who built quite a pyramid plan.
The pious family joined in
while pointing out everyone’s sin.
It’s amazing they aren’t all in the can.
There was a gent from Montague
who loved to tip more than a few.
He guzzled his beer
and was thrown out on his ear
while spilling a hoppy, new micro-brew.
There was a mobster from Kentucky
who thought he was really lucky.
He ran drugs here
and ladies of the night there.
Now on the farm, he shovels horse-puckey.
There was an angel from Bowling Green
who would posture and preen.
Around the town she pranced
and in the bars she danced
and the boys could only dream.
There was a scholar from Denver
whose studies ended never.
He read book after book
while in a library nook
and he hasn’t been seen in forever.