The Man Isn’t Amused

The man takes great pride in the fact that he and his wife
own no motorized yard tool except for an electric hedge
trimmer he got from his father-in-law’s garage when the

family was divvying up stuff after his father-in-law’s
death. The trimmer makes almost no noise when plugged
in and is used only two times a year, once in the spring

and once in the summer. His neighbors, on the other hand,
love polluting the neighborhood with loud, gas-guzzling,
motorized yard tools. They have big, riding lawn mowers,

power washers and leaf blowers to name a few and they
love cranking these up and running them at dusk when
the man and his wife want to sit and watch the fish in

the pond and hear the gurgle of the water tumbling down
the waterfall and the sound of the chimes blowing in the
wind. But they can’t because of all the motors cutting

the grass, blowing leaves and grass cuttings, washing
gutters, etc. reaching a feverish pitch which must rival
the bombing of Dresden during World War Two. The man

and his wife close up the house and turn on the air
conditioner. They say nothing. The man has a voice that
carries. He is a retired minister. Such a voice is good

in the pulpit but a liability elsewhere. Sometimes one
of his motor loving neighbors hears him and calls out,
“Want to keep it down, motor mouth?”

It’s intended as a joke. The man isn’t amused.

1 thought on “The Man Isn’t Amused

  1. Doesn’t it just piss you off? Every morning, beginning at 7:50, I wake up to the roaring, whining buzz of airplanes from the naval air training station. They continue in the same pattern over our park until well after lunch. Makes me want to shoot the bastards out of the sky. Then again, where would we be without our military?
    Tolerance, understanding, shoot the bastards. Simplicity!

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