Someone wrote that the president
(for all the taxpayer expense of his
4th of July parade) forgot to employ

a squeegee guy to clean the rain
splattered bulletproof glass shield
in front of the president as he spoke

from the podium in front of Honest
Abe. Others pointed out the historical
inaccuracies in his speech delivered

in the whiny, sing-song cadence he
always uses when he sticks to script.
A lot of people just wrote, “Boring,”

and the Trump loving crowd seemed
to confirm that. They wanted red
meat and got pablum and Russia

laughed itself silly over the lameness
of the attempt at a big military parade
to make a dictator proud. It has been

said that at one point, Honest Abe
just shook his head in disbelief and
passed a note to some official wonder-

ing where the great song and dance
acts were. The official was seen
whispering in Honest Abe’s ear,

“Hang in there. It will start in about
an hour.” Abe then asked whether
or not the immigrants at the border

were ever going to get some soap.
The official said that they ran out
of money and couldn’t afford a

a squeegee guy let alone soap
for men, women and children
at the border.