I’m Watching Glee
I’m watching Glee and transported back fifty years plus
To the days that she and I were in choir together.
For three years starting our senior year when I used to watch
Her climb a couple of steps of the riser to her seat
And I was mesmerized by her profile from the rear, and ending
When she unceremoniously dumped me and
Continued dating a Harvard guy doing graduate work in physics at
The University of Illinois and I was still in my second
Year of life in the local community college, we were in love.
During the next fifty plus years, I had an unbelievable love affair
And marriage of twenty-six years to the mother of my two children
And my soul mate even though we fought like
Cats and dogs (She was the cat and I was always the dog.)
And never really grew up in relation to each other.
She died one day, in one day, while we vacationed for the first
Time without the kids after that quarter of a century plus.
Two years, much counseling, prayer and running hard five miles
Six days a week later, I married a beautiful young widow
Who started jogging with me. We jogged together this morning
With our third Chocolate Lab on the trails near our
Home along the shores of Lake Michigan. We’ve been jogging,
Kayaking, cycling, backpacking, tent camping together
For sixteen plus years of marital bliss (at least from my
Perspective), and yet, when I got the news
Through an internet search, I went into this funk from which I still
Have to emerge. I don’t mean I love her in that
Splendor in the Grass adolescent way and yearn to recapture that
Which is long gone. She had been an intimate part of my life
Intensely in an intense, tumultuous time and probably with not a lot of
Maturity. We hadn’t spoken in all those years and
To be perfectly honest I was hoping to see her at our 50th class reunion to acknowledge
The significance of that experience on my life. But I can’t. She died, divorced I
Think, alone, for all I know, or maybe with her two kids two thousand plus miles from what
Had been her home of cancer at 64. I hate it when people I know die what I consider
Prematurely, suddenly or without my knowledge or approval/never (They need my approval
To die?) approval only to find it out In a Google search.
They’re cheated; I’m cheated. We’re all cheated. A wake-up call.
I look at my wife, love her more than ever and, yes, tell her.
I hold her close and the dog nibbles at my fingers, nudges between
Us and whines and barks his disapproval. He wants her
For himself. Can you blame him? He is spontaneous; affectionate, no holds barred,
Effusive with his love. I may be a dog but I should be more like
That Chocolate dog.