He Listened to the Dog at the Foot of the Bed
He listened to his eleven-year-old Choco-
late Lab’s labored breathing on the
floor at the foot of the bed.
He thought of the last run the dog went on with
them three days prior and how the phlegm
caught in the dog’s throat and spittle
formed on his chin making it a wet drippy
white covering the white stubble. They
stopped in their tracks and he
watched the dog’s tongue turn blue-pink
as the dog gasped for every molecule of
oxygen that he could suck
from the hot, heavy wall of watery air.
The dog just sat on the trail, chest
heaving and eyes pleading
for help of any kind just to stop the
smothering. They waited together
and then inched along
toward the parking lot and water so
the thirsty dog could lap up as
much as possible as quickly
as possible so the aspirated phlegm
would turn soft and slippery
and could be regurgitated
onto the dusty gravel next to the car.
The dog knew that then he would
be all right for a while and he
could breathe deeply again, taking in
luxurious warm, dry billows reach-
ing to the deepest depth of his
capillaries. Since then the dog hasn’t stop-
ped panting almost in anxious anticipa-
tion that the smothering would
resume and his tongue would turn blue
and this time there wouldn’t be enough
water around upon which to
aspirate and chance death by drowning
in order to live. Maybe the dog was
smarter than the vet who shrugged
and thought maybe Michigan State
could do something. As the man
listened to his dog, he thought
about how he was going to have to
have a conversation with his wife
the next morning about death,
the kind of death in which he and his
wife play God. A week earlier both
of them had watched physicians,
nurses and technicians play God, by
seeking to deny, in some kind of
incomprehensible understanding
of the Hippocratic Oath, the sweetness
of immanent death to his wife’s ninety-
three-year-old father who lay on a
gurney in the emergency room blood flood-
ing his gut from a bursting aortic
aneurism. The nurse said that
the vitals looked really good when a flat-line
would have been a blessing and the
on-duty physician asked if the
family would like to have a CT scan and
family looked up in confusion and an
almost cruel glimmer of hope
and his wife asked if it would change
the outcome and the physician
said no and they all hung
in limbo while morphine was pumped
mercifully, after some medical mumbo
jumbo discussion about just how
much was too much, into dear old dad who
had been wanting out for the four years
since his wife of sixty-seven years
departed rather quickly her earthly existence
and him. All efforts exhausted, the staff
accepted defeat, readied dad and
then escorted him to the dying room on the
second floor. The ER physician went off
to save others. The Second Floor doc
entered, looked and left with a sigh of
resignation. One could almost
tell she didn’t like her work.
Dad went fast seemingly at his own
choosing and perhaps he knew more
than those trying to
keep him alive in spite of all evidence
to the contrary. Maybe dad was
just trying to save the family
a few bucks from the thousands ticking
and clicking off in the accounting
department, the computer
central of the hospital. Perhaps
dad knew best how to die given
the circumstances and
perhaps the dog knows best how to
stay alive for a while under the
circumstances until his
adoptive parents really have to make
the decision they would rather not.
They could go to Michigan State
and hear the vets tell them there is
this procedure and that and another
and his wife would ask
will it change the outcome and the vets
will say he’s got a 50/50 chance of
dying on the table or he could gain
six-months to a year, but the recuperation
would be tough. At 110, the dog isn’t
going to be granted a five-year
reprieve. And so, he and his wife will play
God in a different way than those in the
hospital, but God, never the less,
only in this case hopefully the compassion-
ate God. The man and his wife had the
talk they had to have
even while dreading it and then, to make it
that much harder, the dog got up,
grabbed a toy and begged
to play hide and seek before sleeping
a sweet, quiet sleep
on the couch.